Today sees the publication of my new book, Rip It Up.

The book describes how small changes in your behaviour have a surprisingly large effect on how you think and feel. It is against positive thinking and instead promotes a new concept that I have called ‘positive action’. The book is grounded in science, and reviews decades of research into a concept known as ’embodied cognition’.

To celebrate the launch I thought it would be fun to hold a caption contest. The starting point for the book is a famous quote by the Victorian philosopher William James “You do not run from a bear because you are afraid of it, but rather become afraid of the bear because you run from it’.

So, here is a bear-based caption competition……take a look at this photograph:

Now feel free to post a caption. I will take a look at all the comments this time tomorrow, pick my favourite, and send a free signed copy of Rip It Up to the winner.

Don’t hold back – post your captions now!

Oh, and here is a little video explaining why the book is called Rip It Up


    1. “I can’t bear barefoot bears, but do bears have feet? I do need a beer, but am I in a bar?”

  1. You don’t speed-date a bear because you’re horny, you’re horny because you’ve been speed-dating a bear.

  2. “I’m clearly acting like a bear expecting a picnic so could we put the camera away now and crack open a beer?”

  3. Hello Professor Wiseman, I’m here for my appointment. I’d like to learn how to change my bear-haviour…..

  4. I do not make people run from me because I dislike them, but rather I dislike them because they run from me… #foreveralone

  5. “Mr & Mrs Locks, the case against your daughter Goldi is very serious. If you will take a seat we can begin the negotiations for her release”

  6. OK, I’m gonna shut my eyes and count to 10. When I open them I expect the porridge will be back on the table and we’ll say no more about it, OK?. One…

  7. “I did not buy this bear a beer because I was afraid of it, but rather because I knew I would become afraid of it if I did not buy it a beer.”

  8. The Brown family came to regret suggesting that Paddington spent some time at the retreat getting in touch with his ‘inner bear’

  9. He might be a member of the Ursus americanus altifrontalis, but he still thought of himself as ‘Brian’.

  10. You do not dine with a bear because you are it’s friend, but rather become a friend because you dine with it… And guees what’s for dinner…!?!

  11. To understand humans better my psychologist told me to use embodied cognition and repeat the affirmation ‘I only look like a bear’.

  12. A bear escaped last night from the local zoo refuses to return, he just keeps repeating: “that’s my spot”. They say it has nothing to do with the freshly installed TV nearby his cage, which constantly plays Big Bang Theory.

  13. Seriously, I fancy a … … … … … … little muesli and low fat yoghurt for a change.

    Notice the big pause

  14. What a day at the office – you would not bearlieve it, it was absolutely unbearable!….why are you looking at me like that, do I have something stuck in my teeth?

  15. The bear does not want to eat you because you smell tasty, but rather you smell tasty because the bear wants to eat you.

  16. “” The boss sent me to discuss the raise that, and I quote, you want so badly you’d kill a bear with your bare hands for it. “” 🙂

  17. “It’s not me you should be afraid of. Yogi and Boo-boo are waiting for you down the trail with a 12 gauge and a chainsaw!”

  18. “I’m into astrology and find it very revealing about a person. I’ll read your horoscope if you take a seat and tell me Ursine” 😀

  19. And Sarah’s card has now got a blue back, not particularly surprising but what is more surprising is all the other cards have got red backs.

  20. “Ah Mr Wiseman, we meet at last! Now I will PROVE that bears can read minds. Right now you’re trying to remember if you should lie down and play dead, or climb that tree over there!”

  21. Now, I know Wiseman said he would meet me here at 2.30pm, but I am not sure whether he ran away because he was afraid or became afraid because he ran away.

  22. Jane Bearstein: anthropological fields notes; Day 42. “I have successfully convinced the humans I am one of them. One wonders if success would not have come sooner if not for the unfortunate mauling on day 16.”

  23. “So who’s the predictable one now then?”

    “It’s quite likely that my behaviour has been manipulated, no?”

    1. It was meant to say,

      You all think this is bad service. Why when I was at a picnic table in the Rockies, I waited a whole day before a waiter served me.

  24. “I hope I’m not being too forward here, but the small changes in your behavior make me want to kiss your face and rip it up at the same time.”

  25. “You may think it’s easy being me. But when the table is completely ‘bear’, it’s no picnic!”

  26. Here is a caption – “Sweet iced tea and honey cakes? I’d love some.”

    Great picture – thanks

  27. “Sorry. I thought the sign said: ‘We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone’. My bad. Still, if I can order off-menu, I’d really love me some refuse… if it’s fresh. I’m not a big tipper, but I give excellent hugs.”

  28. Yep – Davy Crockett sure did kill my great great great great Grandpappy. Not worried. Beginners luck. What’s for tea?

  29. Sit down Ilya! Your last name is Bryzgalov, right? The Penguins asked me to talk to you before the next Playoff season.

  30. “Why are you surprised? It’s just years of bad publicity.”

    “I may be a beast, but I can’t fight against the protocol.”

    “What would we be without manners?”

    “Don’t we all have our ‘b sides’?”

    “What are you looking at? Haven’t you heard of globalization?”

  31. There is no loo roll in the woods. Someone told me that Richard has a page for this in his book. Can you find it quickly, please?

  32. Having perfected the ‘bagsy bear’ we are now looking for franchise opportunities in the sunlounger zone of the Costa del Sol, German tourists beware

  33. The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
    The bear replies, “Oh, he’s dead alright…I’ll wait here while you send some more.”

  34. No one seems to be interested in me, I’ve been sitting here for ages but no one’s come near me at all.
    Perhaps if I changed my name to Boson?

  35. American black bears are 85% vegetarian. The remaining 15% of their diet consists mainly of insects such as bees, yellow-jackets and ants, and the occasional philosopher.

  36. Hey, what are you staring at? Can’t a bear have his porridge in peace? There’s a gorilla over there playing basketball: go and watch him instead! 😉 😀

    Talented bear gets interviewed to work as local newspaper caption writer.

    sraeb retfa sraey fo sdnasuoht elcitrap nosob sggih revocsid yllanif sneipas omoh laidromirp

    Bear sues local newspaper for unfair dismissal.

  38. Come, sit down and explain how “Rip it Up” can help me change my wicked ways – or you’re in a bit of trouble.

  39. Go Fish? Go Fish? I’m a bear, you moron. I OWN that card game. Bring it on! I’ll give you a reason to be afraid of bears!

  40. My dear, you can either feed your fear or feed me, honestly I prefer the latter, since it is a win-win for both of us. However, truth be known, I am very hungry and being an omnivore, I must say you are looking mighty tasty in those hiking togs…so I wouldn’t dawdle in making your decision.

  41. George always hated being the first to arrive work bar b q’s, he was feeling slightly awkward, worrying about who would arrive next, he hated small talk, he just grinned and “bear’ed”

    1. Someone said bear grylls was here today, imagine the embarrassment when I found out that that’s a guy

  42. “What’s that look on you face? I mean it’s perfectly normal for bears to have picnics in the park! The only thing is that I don’t have anything to eat. 😦 Oh well! That photographer over there looks like supper. Mmm… Food…”

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