With Valentines Day just around the corner, I thought that it might be a good time to give ten scientifically-supported 59 Second tips to increase your chances of finding and keeping the love of your life…..
1. Love at First Fright. You may think that going somewhere romantic on a first date is good, but in fact you are better off choosing somewhere scary. Research shows your date will attribute their racing heart to you, rather than the scary activity, convincing them that you are the one. So, avoid country walks, and instead go to a horror film or on a rollercoaster ride.
2. The Sharing Game. Research shows that disclosing some personal information during a date quickly leads to feelings of intimacy. Ask your date to describe something they have always wanted to do or one of the happiest days of their life.
3. Lust or Love? Is the guy you are with interested in your body or brains? Studies suggest that if he is interested in you as a person then he will lean towards you when you are speaking and nod and smile. However, if it is simply lust at work he is more likely to stick out his tongue and lick his lips.
4. Disagree then Agree. Most people think constant head-nodding on a date is a winning strategy, but research suggests this people are more attracted to those who start off lukewarm and then become more positive towards the end of the date.
5. Agree to disagree: Rather than chatting about topics that you both like, try talking about things you both dislike – people feel closer to each other when they agree about dislikes rather than likes.
6. Keep him hungry. Recent research shows that hungry men rated heavier women as more desirable. So, if you are female and “traditionally built”, go for a drink before a meal, not after.
7. Fake a genuine smile. Although authentic and fake smiles involve the sides of the mouth being pulled up, only a genuine smile causes crinkling round the sides of the eyes.
8. The power of touch: If you want someone to find you more attractive, touch them very lightly on the upper arm as you compliment them. But remember, the touch has to be short, constrained to the upper arm, and delivered at the same time as a compliment or request.
9. Use others! Women rate a man as more attractive after they’ve seen another woman smiling at him, or having a good time in his company. So, if you want to impress women in a bar or at a party, ask a good female friend to come along and openly laugh at your jokes, and then have them quietly slip away.
oh, and if you are in a relationship, remember….
10. Write all about it. Partners spending a few moments each week committing their deepest thoughts and feelings about their relationship to paper boosts the chances of them sticking together by over 20%. Such ‘expressive writing’ results in partners using more positive language when they speak to one another, leading to a healthier and happier relationship.
1. Meston, C. M., & Frohlich, P. F. (2003) Love at first fright: Partner salience moderates roller coaster-induced excitation transfer. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 32, 537-544.
2. Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R., & Bator, R. (1997).The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 363-377.
3. Gonzaga, G. C., Turner, R. A., Keltner, D., Campos, B. C., & Altemus, M. (2006). Romantic Love and Sexual Desire in Close Bonds. Emotion, 6, 163-179.
4. Aronson, E. (1999). The Social Animal (8th ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.
Aronson, E., & Linder, D. (1965). Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attractiveness. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 1, 156-171.
5. Bosson, J. K., Johnson, A. B., Niederhoffer, K., & Swann, W. B., Jr. (2006). Interpersonal chemistry through negativity: Bonding by sharing negative attitudes about others. Personal Relationships, 13, 135-150.
6. Swami, V. & Tovee, M.J. (2005). Does hunger influence judgments of female physical attractiveness. British Journal of Psychology. 97 (3), 353-363.
7. Krumhuber, E., Manstead, A. S. R, & Kappas, A. (2007). Temporal aspects of facial displays in person and expression perception. The effects of smile dynamics, head-tilt and gender. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 31, 39-56.
8. Guéguen N. (2007). The effect of a man’s touch on woman’s compliance to a request in a courtship context. Social Influence, 2, 81-97.
9. Jones, B.C., DeBruine, L.M., Little, A.C., Burriss, R.P. & Feinburg, D.R. (2007). Social transmission of face preferences among humans. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B, 274(1611): 899-903.
10. Slatcher, R.B. & Pennebaker, J.W. (2006). How do I love thee? Let me count the words. The social effects of expressive writing. Psychological Science, 17, 660-664.
What do you think? Any other hints and tips?