I am giving a talk today at 6.30 at Foyles in London today (details here) – would be lovely to see you.
Time for a caption contest……
Any ideas? Feel free to post you captions and comment on others…..
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I am giving a talk today at 6.30 at Foyles in London today (details here) – would be lovely to see you.
Time for a caption contest……
Any ideas? Feel free to post you captions and comment on others…..
April 28, 2011 at 5:34 am |
Ralph knew being a Clown for kids’ parties would be a crappy job…
After a long birthday cake only diet, Ralph lamented the one-ply in the amusement park restrooms…
April 28, 2011 at 5:38 am |
1/ You think my feet are big?
2/ *HONK*
3/ Pull my finger
4/ How many small clowns can you fit in a ….
5/ The curtains match the carpets
6/ BOING!!!!
7/ Off to powder my nose…
8/ Soooo bright, until there is a “brown out”
April 28, 2011 at 5:40 am |
“My colon is feeling funny.”
April 28, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I love it!
April 28, 2011 at 5:43 am |
After 30 years, wikileaks finally reveal Elvis’s last moments.
April 28, 2011 at 3:02 pm
I vote for this one.
May 3, 2011 at 12:43 am
I vote for this one too
April 28, 2011 at 5:43 am |
Feet done, now to pass the bra.
April 28, 2011 at 5:44 am |
Damien Hirst returns to sculpture.
April 28, 2011 at 9:39 am
XD Great!
April 28, 2011 at 5:45 am |
If Richard Wiseman doesn’t stop with these damn caption contests, I’ll never let him out.
April 28, 2011 at 5:46 am |
Sorry should be: Feet done now to pad the bra.
April 28, 2011 at 5:47 am |
I sure miss telephone booths.
April 28, 2011 at 5:48 am |
“Strange. The fortune on this ancient scroll states that life might be more difficult than I originally anticipated…”
April 28, 2011 at 5:48 am |
Eureka! I’ve just thought of how to solve the UK economy crisis, not bad for a clown having a dump!
April 28, 2011 at 5:49 am |
The laughing stopped the instant Jeff realised he’d forgotten to pull his tights down…
April 28, 2011 at 6:11 am
Good one, mate!
April 28, 2011 at 6:14 am
Brilliant!
April 28, 2011 at 8:50 am
oh yes!
April 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm
lol
April 28, 2011 at 5:58 am |
It sure is reverberant in here.
April 28, 2011 at 5:59 am |
“How about a nice giraffe this time?”
April 28, 2011 at 8:39 am
Wanted to enter my own suggestion, but there’s no way I’ll beat this one. You win!
April 28, 2011 at 6:15 am |
The last resort- if the clown costume doesn’t get the laughs then toilet humor certainly would
April 28, 2011 at 6:22 am |
Oi! Shut the door! Can’t you see I am doing a poo?
April 28, 2011 at 6:24 am |
1) Tonight, Bolo the Clown bombed on stage and in the toilet.
2) “For my next magic trick, watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass.”
3) Originally found with a black bar across the eyes, this famous uncleaver clown was voted “NOT” on the “Hot or Not” pages of a stylish fashion magazine. The editors noted the Gaudy nature of mixing not only florals and high-contrast patterns, but the stripes, paisley suspenders, yellow patterned pajama bottoms and oversized shoes did nothing to tie in the faux Rastafarian jester’s hat. Sorry, Whitney Houston, maybe your next job will get you back in the “Hot” category.
April 28, 2011 at 6:24 am |
That’s some funny shit!
April 28, 2011 at 6:46 am |
Only a clown would hang the toilet paper that way up.
April 28, 2011 at 6:51 am |
Well it beats a clownostomy bag
April 28, 2011 at 6:58 am |
No kids, that’s not where SpongeBob Squarepants came from.
April 28, 2011 at 6:59 am |
Not all the Wiseman brothers went to University.
//
April 28, 2011 at 9:42 am
Cheeky but funny
April 28, 2011 at 7:00 am |
It took some preparation, but no-one was going to see this surprise bunch of flowers coming.
April 28, 2011 at 8:45 am
Winner.:-)
April 28, 2011 at 7:02 am |
I thought Darren Brown had chosen me to expose the fraud behind faith healers!
April 28, 2011 at 7:04 am |
“I’m not entirely sure if this really is fufilling the Trickster archetype”
April 28, 2011 at 7:05 am |
Little did Richard expect – Exploding Toilet Paper
April 28, 2011 at 7:18 am |
“I wonder if this is strong enough to hang myself…”
April 28, 2011 at 7:21 am |
Well I’m pretty sure I won’t be wearing the same outfit as the bride today!
April 28, 2011 at 7:32 am |
After years of intense practice, Coco the Clown was relieved that his ability to produce a roll of toilet paper from up his sleeve could get him out of a potentially embarrassing situation.
April 28, 2011 at 7:38 am |
Budget cuts force change to ‘never-ending handkerchief’ gag.
April 28, 2011 at 7:49 am |
On reflection, Coco began to wonder if the divine-mission-from-God messenger who visited hadn’t sounded a bit like his mate, Dave.
April 28, 2011 at 8:06 am |
Andrex start having doubts about appointing a new advertising agency.
April 28, 2011 at 8:15 am |
At London fashion week, leading designer Coco Chanel-Ferry finds sudden inspiration for his next collection in the most unlikely of materials..
April 28, 2011 at 8:16 am |
“What? Wait, where’s the next clue!?” – Johnathan the clown has been had.
April 28, 2011 at 8:17 am |
Time to wipe my bum.
April 28, 2011 at 8:26 am |
Smokey Robinson releases his much anticipated follow-up single – “The Smears of a Clown”
April 28, 2011 at 8:31 am |
“Yes” Mr Cameron, “No” Mr Cameron… This time, Nick thought, he had gone too far.
April 28, 2011 at 8:49 am |
Stare at the red spot for 20 seconds then look at a blank wall…
April 28, 2011 at 9:17 am |
What happens after years of continuous consumption of cotton candy? Here you see yet another tragic sufferer of cotton colon.
April 28, 2011 at 9:35 am |
Fuck my life
April 28, 2011 at 9:36 am |
Sodding government training schemes, I’m saving this one for a certain letterbox.
April 28, 2011 at 9:49 am |
‘I thought it was only the car doors that fell off’…?
April 28, 2011 at 10:31 am |
Stole it from someone… You should recognise it. Editted for obvious reasons. No offense intended.
You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little f@*&ed up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to f@*&in’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
April 28, 2011 at 10:33 am |
I can see Jesus’s face in this toilet paper, how appropriate for my Holy arse.
April 28, 2011 at 10:38 am |
I didn’t go to bed looking like this. I blame Derren Brown.
April 28, 2011 at 10:42 am |
Andrew Wakefield takes a break from talking crap.
April 28, 2011 at 10:54 am |
I make all my own accessories, including the painted poo, twigs & toilet paper wig.
April 28, 2011 at 10:56 am |
What? Just plain toilet paper? How depressing!
April 28, 2011 at 10:56 am |
Never again for a Stephen King audition, I’ll try McDonalds next time.
April 28, 2011 at 11:13 am |
If it’s yellow – let it mellow. If it’s clown – flush it down.
April 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Like it!
May 1, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Got my vote
April 28, 2011 at 11:17 am |
Bloody diarrhoea If it wasn’t for my big shoes, I would have had to leave in the middle of the act.
April 28, 2011 at 11:24 am |
First a squirt, then he wows the audience by producing something large from a small space.
April 28, 2011 at 11:29 am |
He was sure he had written the answers on this roll of toilet paper.
April 28, 2011 at 12:00 pm |
“Hmm, might need another roll. Really wished I pulled my trousers down before going”
April 28, 2011 at 12:23 pm |
Clowns: sad
Spongebob-Squarepants-Pants… : even sadder
Considering Clowns as part of Humor: saddest
Seeing this picute and instantaneoulsy knowing why i don’t like Clowns: priceless
April 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm |
Like Mr. Toosies, every clown can crap the colors of the rainbow. Unlike Mr. Toosies, however, not every clown then places said crap atop their head.
April 28, 2011 at 2:04 pm |
…And they say John Wayne Gacy exhibited no warning signs.
April 28, 2011 at 2:41 pm |
Hurry up in there, Harry. We can’t start this damn wedding without the Best Man.
April 28, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Nice one XD
April 28, 2011 at 2:43 pm |
»Would you mind closing the door? I’m trying to read the paper here.«
April 28, 2011 at 2:46 pm |
Oh god, these aren’t my tights!
April 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm |
“What’s right with this picture?’
April 28, 2011 at 2:56 pm |
Bozo’s toilet humour had them rolling in the stalls.
April 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm |
This never ending tissue paper trick isn’t what it used to be
April 28, 2011 at 3:24 pm |
“Please don’t let this whole damn roll get stuck to the bottom of my shoe”
April 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm |
if ronaldmcdonald makes me eat any more of them bloody burgers……………
April 28, 2011 at 3:51 pm |
Suddenly, psychologists had a fool proof answer for why children grow up afraid of clowns.
April 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm |
Albert Einstein always refused to answer any questions about what he was doing when he came up with E=mc^2.
April 28, 2011 at 5:59 pm |
Although he later regretted it, Sparkles the clown, finally determined how many toy cars fit inside a clown.
April 28, 2011 at 6:01 pm |
“I don’t like this toilet paper, it feels funny.”
April 28, 2011 at 6:02 pm |
You look a bit potty
April 28, 2011 at 6:15 pm |
Brian Clowen in the shithouse again!….reference to ireland’s ex Taoiseach (splitting image)
April 28, 2011 at 6:16 pm |
The ‘tears’ of a clown.
April 28, 2011 at 6:32 pm |
Albert the clown: The day I retired
” Here little girl pull my finger………….whoops!…..back ina minute “
April 28, 2011 at 6:40 pm |
“If you think my costume is colourful, wait ’till you see what comes out.”
April 28, 2011 at 6:54 pm |
If my stomach doesn’t settle down, they’ll have to get another clown for the Royal Wedding.
April 28, 2011 at 6:55 pm |
Quit clowning around and finish the paperwork
April 28, 2011 at 6:57 pm |
Coco was disappointed with the official Royal Wedding staff facilities.
April 28, 2011 at 7:19 pm |
“A little song; a little dance; and little doo-doo in the pants.” — Chuckles the Clown.
April 28, 2011 at 7:22 pm |
Senator Larry Craig back in Minnesota today…
April 28, 2011 at 7:36 pm |
Having just been chased out of Megabowl by aggressive bohemians Bozo hides in the loo.
April 28, 2011 at 9:40 pm |
Every time Bozo donned his clown suit, he became the life of the potty.
April 29, 2011 at 5:18 am |
Something in here sure smells funny.
(I know it’s stupid, but I couldn’t resist)
April 29, 2011 at 6:30 am |
Yeah, I thought those clams tasted a bit funny…
April 29, 2011 at 9:23 am |
Tracey Emin’s latest work has attracted mixed reviews.
April 29, 2011 at 9:29 am |
Clarence vowed that the next person to ask if his stomach was funny ha-ha or funny peculiar would instantly regret it.
April 29, 2011 at 2:16 pm |
The novelty bog brush was simply that and was not intended to do a good job
April 29, 2011 at 7:01 pm |
Lada Gaga just pucked all over me
April 29, 2011 at 8:36 pm |
Pull my finger!
April 29, 2011 at 9:35 pm |
“THIS FLU BUG IS KILLING ME! I”M EITHER CRAPPING SILLY-STRING OR PUKING RAINBOWS!”
May 3, 2011 at 11:36 am |
Toilet Humour
May 4, 2011 at 4:31 pm |
I’m sure this would have been easier if I’d pulled my trousers down first…
May 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm |
You see, it is the CLOWN that jumps out of the CAR. Let this be a lesson in reading the directions twice.
September 1, 2011 at 6:22 am |
Don’t get the wrong idea people. He’s about to wipe his tears. I guess that “I Should’ve Went To College” toilet epiphany was too much for him…
September 7, 2011 at 10:21 am |
Novelty toys…
Clown caption contest…. « Richard Wiseman…
November 26, 2011 at 9:52 am |
loll
)) template
November 29, 2011 at 8:37 am |
Howard Hark will be releasing his latest product which is called Currency Messenger. for more details, read The Currency Messenger reviews below…
[...]Clown caption contest…. « Richard Wiseman[...]…