A few posts ago I asked everyone to list the traits that they found most desirable in a romantic partner. The results were interesting, with each of the sexes looking for surprisingly similar stuff.
I thought it might be even more interesting to reverse the question and discover if men and women also agree on what they dislike.
So, list TWO traits that you find unattractive in a potential romantic partner. Women, list your answers here.
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January 20, 2010 at 6:59 am |
1) Poor hygiene.
2) Emotional volatility.
January 20, 2010 at 6:59 am |
Jealous, Controlling
January 20, 2010 at 7:00 am |
burly, arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 7:01 am |
apathetic about everything, ‘emo-ness’
January 20, 2010 at 7:02 am |
Desperation.
Arrogance.
January 20, 2010 at 7:02 am |
2 undesirable traits:
smell of alcohol
overweight
January 20, 2010 at 7:03 am |
1.Dishonesty
2.Abusive (Physically or verbally)
January 20, 2010 at 7:04 am |
Condescension, Rage
January 20, 2010 at 7:05 am |
Unemotional, arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 7:08 am |
Bad hygiene, spiteful.
January 20, 2010 at 7:09 am |
Lying & trying too hard to be “macho”
January 20, 2010 at 7:10 am |
willful ignorance, inability to communicate…
January 20, 2010 at 7:14 am |
Cockiness
vanity
January 20, 2010 at 7:15 am |
Condescension and desperation
January 20, 2010 at 7:17 am |
Dullness.
Blokey-iness.
January 20, 2010 at 7:25 am |
Mean
Uncaring
January 20, 2010 at 7:32 am |
Over-emotional, insecure.
January 20, 2010 at 7:36 am |
cowardly and inarticulate
January 20, 2010 at 7:43 am |
Cockiness and scruffiness
January 20, 2010 at 7:44 am |
Unintelligent
BO
January 20, 2010 at 7:59 am |
1. poor hygiene
2. drinking / smoking
January 20, 2010 at 8:04 am |
Selfishness
cruelty
January 20, 2010 at 8:07 am |
Insecure
Inarticulate
January 20, 2010 at 8:13 am |
(1) Poor hygiene
(2) No sense of humour
January 20, 2010 at 8:18 am |
1. cowardice
2. selfishness
January 20, 2010 at 8:21 am |
BO, mysogyny
January 20, 2010 at 8:27 am |
Selfishness, arrogance
January 20, 2010 at 8:28 am |
Unintelligent
Arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 8:39 am |
Arrogant
closeminded
January 20, 2010 at 8:47 am |
thoughtless
immoral
January 20, 2010 at 8:53 am |
arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 9:00 am |
aggressive
stupid
January 20, 2010 at 9:00 am |
Poor hygiene
Misogyny.
January 20, 2010 at 9:02 am |
lack of emotion
rigidity
January 20, 2010 at 9:03 am |
Being socially inept
Taking themselves too seriously
January 20, 2010 at 9:28 am |
Controlling
Manipulative
January 20, 2010 at 9:30 am |
Arrogance
Misogeny
January 20, 2010 at 9:30 am |
Laziness and stupidity
January 20, 2010 at 9:38 am |
1. spiteful – somehow it’s worse when men are spiteful
2. cowardice
January 20, 2010 at 9:41 am |
bigotry
egotism/narcissism
January 20, 2010 at 9:44 am |
Clingy and arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 9:45 am |
Inconsiderate Self-serving
I would bear in mind (I love that phrase- rah!) that we’re probably picking the worse qualities that we associate with the opposite sex, rather than the worse qualities per se. E.g. It might be that few men would list “inconsiderate” as something they dislke in women because women are typically depicted as being more/ overly considerate (perhaps it’s just not a worry that enters their heads, although they might detest a very inconsiderate woman). Some slightly sexist thoughts for yall
January 20, 2010 at 9:46 am |
Self-centered and self-righteous
January 20, 2010 at 9:51 am |
superiority and meaness
January 20, 2010 at 9:57 am |
Arrogance
Lack of style
January 20, 2010 at 10:07 am |
inconsiderate and doesnt like my cooking!
January 20, 2010 at 10:08 am |
Arrogant and Inconsiderate
January 20, 2010 at 10:09 am |
Arrogance
A fear of commitment
January 20, 2010 at 10:11 am |
Insensitive, macho, arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 10:16 am |
Mmmh, I guess I really dislike
1) dishonesty, and
2) a general unwillingness to engage whether that’s in conversations, activities, arguments, etc.
January 20, 2010 at 10:18 am |
arrogance, self-centered
January 20, 2010 at 10:24 am |
Arrogant, thoughtless
January 20, 2010 at 10:55 am |
misogyny
emotional laziness
January 20, 2010 at 11:13 am |
Self-centredness, smoking
January 20, 2010 at 11:19 am |
male chauvinist (is it the correct term for machist?)
jealousy
January 20, 2010 at 11:21 am |
bad hygiene
dishonest
arrogance
January 20, 2010 at 11:32 am |
unreliable, self-absorbed
January 20, 2010 at 11:35 am |
Possessive, humourless
January 20, 2010 at 11:40 am |
apathetic, dishonest.
January 20, 2010 at 12:02 pm |
Disrespectful, dishonest.
January 20, 2010 at 12:15 pm |
dirty, arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 1:18 pm |
Arrogance
abusive
January 20, 2010 at 1:22 pm |
1. Selfish/Egocentric
2. Pessimist – sees negative in everything and everyone
January 20, 2010 at 1:28 pm |
Prejudiced
Humourless
January 20, 2010 at 1:30 pm |
apathetic, arrogant
January 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm |
Jealousy, and someone who is controlling
January 20, 2010 at 2:19 pm |
Humourless, unresponsive to distress
January 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm |
Apathy & boastfulness.
January 20, 2010 at 2:24 pm |
1) Bullying
2) Hypocritical
January 20, 2010 at 2:26 pm |
lazy, dishonest
January 20, 2010 at 2:27 pm |
Ignorance and laziness
January 20, 2010 at 2:28 pm |
Misogyny
Lack of kindness
January 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm |
HUGE turn offs would be
1) Narrow-minded
2) Insecure
January 20, 2010 at 2:34 pm |
superiority
dishonesty
January 20, 2010 at 2:34 pm |
Dishonesty
Humourless
January 20, 2010 at 2:35 pm |
clinginess, lack of curiosity
January 20, 2010 at 2:40 pm |
ignorance, poor hygiene
January 20, 2010 at 2:43 pm |
religious, jerk
January 20, 2010 at 2:45 pm |
Lying, scared of showing real sensitivity in emotion
January 20, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
emotional-detachedness
putting reputation before alot of other things
January 20, 2010 at 2:47 pm |
Bad hygiene / antisocial
January 20, 2010 at 2:53 pm |
Dishonesty and negativity
January 20, 2010 at 3:11 pm |
Moral cowardice (spinelessness) and selfishness.
January 20, 2010 at 3:45 pm |
Stupid
Narrow Minded
January 20, 2010 at 3:49 pm |
Big-headedness and shallow.
January 20, 2010 at 3:51 pm |
You know so many of the men can’t count? That’s a bit off-putting, but in reality I would say -
Manipulative
Unhealthy Addiction/Obssessiveness (whether that be with drugs/alcohol or football/computers.)
January 20, 2010 at 3:55 pm |
narrow-mindedness
poor hygiene
January 20, 2010 at 3:58 pm |
meanness
pompousness
January 20, 2010 at 4:13 pm |
Arrogance
Ignorance
January 20, 2010 at 4:24 pm |
Mean
Boring
January 20, 2010 at 4:32 pm |
Bad sex
January 20, 2010 at 4:48 pm |
Arrogance
Lying
January 20, 2010 at 4:55 pm |
Arrogance
Being superficial
January 20, 2010 at 5:02 pm |
uncommitted
cocky
January 20, 2010 at 5:02 pm |
Just two? This is going to be tough.
Insecure
Under-handed/manipulative
…Maybe you’d be better off using the answers from people who’ve gone on more than two dates and had fewer than three stalkers.
January 20, 2010 at 5:09 pm |
dirt and clinging
January 20, 2010 at 5:09 pm |
HOw do you describe the idiots on Jersey Shore? Those are EXACTLY the type of guys I can’t stand!
January 20, 2010 at 5:17 pm |
insecure
controlling
January 20, 2010 at 5:19 pm |
Rudeness and patronising
January 20, 2010 at 5:19 pm |
angry
controlling
January 20, 2010 at 5:23 pm |
1. Condescention
2. Dishonesty
January 20, 2010 at 5:33 pm |
Arrogance
Rudeness
January 20, 2010 at 5:54 pm |
Arrogance
Superficiality
January 20, 2010 at 5:55 pm |
Arrogant
Thoughtless
January 20, 2010 at 6:02 pm |
Drinks milk (especially from a bottle)
Immature
January 20, 2010 at 6:22 pm |
Insecure
Ignorant
January 20, 2010 at 6:26 pm |
Lying
Ignorant
January 20, 2010 at 6:45 pm |
bigotry
arrogance
January 20, 2010 at 6:48 pm |
Chauvinism
Stupidity
January 20, 2010 at 7:15 pm |
Violence.
Dishonesty.
January 20, 2010 at 7:56 pm |
indecisive, controlling
January 20, 2010 at 7:57 pm |
Poor Hygiene, Dishonesty.
January 20, 2010 at 8:39 pm |
Stingy, self-centred
January 20, 2010 at 8:42 pm |
I should not answer as I’m not really looking for a partner but if I had been looking for a partner ..
- not enough experience on the inside and ability to use that on a daily bases
- lack of self esteem
Relationships are often based on something in people’s sexuality. That wont do for me, for a relationship, and therefor I’m not looking anymore. Male always look for a specific thing in their relationship, it’s the exact opposite of what I wished for myself in a relationship.
January 20, 2010 at 8:46 pm |
unintelligence
general assholishness
bad teeth
January 20, 2010 at 8:58 pm |
smoking
manipulative
January 20, 2010 at 9:28 pm |
hairy chest
bold
January 20, 2010 at 9:34 pm |
Immature, Stupid
January 20, 2010 at 9:47 pm |
Apathy and indecision.
January 20, 2010 at 10:07 pm |
Arrogance
Dishonesty
January 20, 2010 at 10:16 pm |
smoking
dishonesty
January 20, 2010 at 10:16 pm |
insecurity
stupidity
January 20, 2010 at 11:10 pm |
Arrogance, narrowmindedness
January 20, 2010 at 11:44 pm |
abusive, insensitive
January 20, 2010 at 11:57 pm |
Selfishness and arrogance
January 21, 2010 at 12:06 am |
Condescending, Brutish
January 21, 2010 at 12:21 am |
cruel, agressive
January 21, 2010 at 12:52 am |
dishonesty
dependency
January 21, 2010 at 1:10 am |
vanity
superiority
January 21, 2010 at 3:05 am |
Stupidity
Cruelty
January 21, 2010 at 3:36 am |
1.) the wrong shoes
2.) clingy
January 21, 2010 at 4:21 am |
Arrogant
Dishonest
January 21, 2010 at 4:57 am |
Superiority
Uncommunicative
January 21, 2010 at 5:38 am |
Weakness and apathy.
January 21, 2010 at 11:25 am |
selfish
lazy
January 21, 2010 at 12:39 pm |
superiority
weak
January 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm |
1. Unhygienic
2. Tight with money
January 21, 2010 at 1:52 pm |
Aloof, argumentative
January 21, 2010 at 2:02 pm |
Humourless and obsessively controlling. There could be many things really but these two traits would repel me from even being friends with someone.
January 21, 2010 at 2:41 pm |
1) Overly Critical
2) Arrogant
January 21, 2010 at 3:03 pm |
Narrow-minded
humourless
January 21, 2010 at 3:12 pm |
clingy, ugly
January 21, 2010 at 3:15 pm
I would like to change my vote to clingy and angry. There’s nothing worse than an angry man.
January 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm
oh, and could you change clingy to possessive, please? I meant the same thing but couldn’t think of the right word.
So my answers are: possessive and angry.
January 21, 2010 at 3:54 pm |
cruelty and dishonesty.
I’m not sure if two is enough, though, as there are other things I quite strongly dislike.
January 21, 2010 at 4:20 pm |
Poor hygiene
Uncaring
January 21, 2010 at 4:29 pm |
religious
cocky
January 21, 2010 at 4:50 pm |
Patronizing
Stupid
January 21, 2010 at 4:50 pm |
1. Dishonest
2. Simply
January 21, 2010 at 5:56 pm |
Cocky
Possessive
January 21, 2010 at 6:33 pm |
1. Self-righteous
2. Jejune
January 21, 2010 at 9:47 pm |
Ego.
Jealousy.
January 21, 2010 at 10:18 pm |
Thinking and believing they want things other than they really want.
January 21, 2010 at 10:57 pm |
timid in bed
overly doting
January 22, 2010 at 12:01 am |
Cowardice
Religiousness
January 22, 2010 at 12:47 am |
Arrogance
Stupidity
January 22, 2010 at 4:05 am
That goes for anyone
January 22, 2010 at 2:44 am |
apathy
sycophancy
But these could be about anyone really…not just in a romantic partner.
January 22, 2010 at 4:05 am |
Poor communicator
Apathetic
January 22, 2010 at 7:30 am |
arrogance
jealousy
January 22, 2010 at 7:46 am |
Laziness and stupidity.
January 22, 2010 at 11:21 am |
violent, selfish
January 22, 2010 at 4:07 pm |
Arrogance, Jealousy
January 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm |
controlling, arrogant
January 22, 2010 at 7:04 pm |
poor hygene, critical
January 22, 2010 at 7:11 pm |
judgmental
overly emotional; given to talking about his feelings
January 22, 2010 at 8:03 pm |
Selfishness & bad personal hygiene
January 22, 2010 at 8:35 pm |
Bad hygiene
Lazy
January 22, 2010 at 10:08 pm |
No sense of humor.
Neediness.
January 22, 2010 at 11:14 pm |
talks too much
knows too little
Or is that only one thing?
January 23, 2010 at 12:30 am |
Insecurity. Neediness/desperation. Bad hygiene.
January 23, 2010 at 1:43 am |
vanity; arrogance
January 23, 2010 at 8:11 am |
arrogance, irrational/stupid
January 23, 2010 at 9:14 am |
Dullness, stupidity
January 23, 2010 at 9:45 am |
bad table manners
complaining
January 23, 2010 at 9:55 am |
arrogance and sexism
January 23, 2010 at 10:32 pm |
Immature and self absorbed
January 24, 2010 at 2:15 am |
anger management issues, poor hygiene
January 24, 2010 at 4:02 pm |
Poor hygiene and arrogant
January 24, 2010 at 5:59 pm |
Insecure
Shallow
January 24, 2010 at 6:09 pm |
unintelligent
conservative
January 24, 2010 at 8:41 pm |
dishonest
shallow
January 25, 2010 at 3:59 am |
subtle sexist
no witty sense of humor
too much condescending
January 25, 2010 at 4:35 am |
1. Cocky (overly confident)
2. Unintelligent
January 25, 2010 at 4:36 am |
Unintelligent and religious
January 25, 2010 at 9:17 am |
selfishness & ignorance
January 25, 2010 at 9:25 am |
1. Chaps who think these factors can sensibly be limited to two.
2. Dismissive arrogance.
3. Self-centred insularity.
January 25, 2010 at 5:11 pm |
i just scanned through most of the comments so, if i missed these two, my apologies.
two ‘concerns’ came up over the weekend in my relationship.
1. my lack of having a college degree (because, as stated, i’m far too smart not to have one and it makes no sense for me to not have one)
2. my tattoos and the prospect of more in the future (unlikely, though. this was brought up as concern for exclusion from certain situations we/she may find ourselves in)
now, they can’t be that unattractive due to the relationship being in tact at this point but, it does raise long term questions, however absurd i find both of these points of contention to be.
i see everyone mentioning things like shallow and the like but, are these two things i’ve posted, mainly, ever a point of no return for some people from the beginning? granted, i’m fully aware of the stigma attached to tattoos and i understand the value of going to college and i’ve tried it a bit and didn’t enjoy it (for the record, i do have a well paying job at this point and understand that this is an exception for the most part). however silly i find these points to be, i’m aware that some people probably can’t get around them. it’s just never come up before in a relationship.
January 25, 2010 at 5:37 pm |
unintelligent
cruel
January 25, 2010 at 8:50 pm |
Arrogant, controlling
I think it’s interesting that men are intolerant of stupidity in a relationship, and women are quite tolerant of it – it’s hardly mentioned here. Well, we’d have to be, wouldn’t we?
January 25, 2010 at 9:19 pm |
Oh, sorry, am I being arrogant?
January 25, 2010 at 9:26 pm |
dishonesty and cruelty
January 26, 2010 at 12:21 pm |
cruelty
looking down on people less fortunate (looks, wealth, etc)
January 27, 2010 at 6:53 pm |
lack of ambition
insensitive or unkind to others.
January 28, 2010 at 2:01 pm |
mean
intolerant
January 29, 2010 at 9:21 am |
Arrogance
Insensitivity
January 29, 2010 at 4:58 pm |
Unmotivated, and unloving.
January 29, 2010 at 9:32 pm |
disrespectful, dishonest
January 30, 2010 at 7:06 pm |
negative
unintelligent
January 30, 2010 at 8:28 pm |
arrogant and thoughtless
February 4, 2010 at 4:15 am |
narcissistic
lack of knowledge
February 5, 2010 at 8:09 pm |
arogance
not taking relationships seriously, just to pass time.
February 10, 2010 at 1:46 am |
unhappiness and dishonesty
February 12, 2010 at 1:13 pm |
Agression.
Arrogance.
March 19, 2010 at 4:16 pm |
1. Arrogance
2. Stupidity/general lack of intelligence (don’t I sound elitist?)
March 26, 2010 at 12:46 am |
Unattractive on the inside
Unattractive on the outside
April 17, 2010 at 7:13 pm |
1) deceitfulness
2) inaction – This trait is difficult to describe fully in a word or short phrase, because in a way I do mean lacking ambition but more lacking the drive to try to go after dreams, whatever they may be. I also mean casual inaction like rarely/never wanting to do anything enlightening or exciting. Of course life has to be boring sometimes, but I find it very unattractive when one never tries to make it not so. To dream and strive and risk is very attractive. Unless you have children, in which case you have to weigh every dream and risk against safety, security, and reality. But I’m judging the attractiveness of the man as you meet him/first get to know him, which is usually before the children come along.
August 3, 2010 at 9:21 pm |
Dear Matt,
I realise that you and your partner must still be very young but I find her objections very immature. I dont understand either why you need a degree if you are already sucessful and enjoy your work. As far as tatoos go….it is your body and as you allow her to decide on fashion, piercings, makeup…she should allow you to decide what to do for your own style. The differences in us is what makes life interesting…of course I am an old lady of 56 yrs who is no longer married after 35 years, so who is to say that I am an authority. However, I have learned that the trivial stuff can be dealt with….it is the difficult stuff that we need to be there for each other. Don’t sweat over the small stuff lol